Dear Flower,
I have a bit of a confession to make: In a previous blog post i said i was gonna give up coffee. Well, i haven't been able to do that yet. It's just too difficult right now. I want to wait until things are less stressful. Plus, i don't want to just quit cold turkey; i want to gradually reduce my coffee consumption so i don't get massive headaches.
Things are too stressful right now though:
- I don't know what i'm going to do about income.
- I haven't seen my daughter in almost 3 months.
- I have to try to find a legal aid or lawyer to help me fight my custody battle.
So, there's a lot of uncertainty around having a steady income, being able to pay for the rent, and so forth, and a lot of uncertainty surrounding when i will be able to see my daughter again regularly. I struggle inside with the idea of what she might be going through. It is extremely important to me to not cause harm to any child.
I think the mother is doing a terrible job at doing what's best for our daughter, Brooklyn. It is because of her doing that i am unable to see my daughter. And that doesn't have anything to do with what's best for Brooklyn. Somebody's not thinking enough about the child here. It angers me, but what hurts me the most is the idea of what she might be going through.
So, i haven't been able to give up coffee. It's all i've got to help me feel a little bit better as i struggle through these adversities. At least i have that, to make me feel a little bit more normal, to help me stay focused on the things i need to get done. It could be a lot worse.
~Mark @markenglish13
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