#5 - Err On The Side Of Caution -

July 08, 2012
Dear Flower,
The nurses and the psychiatrists, within this Mental Health Clinic in which I am currently an involuntary patient, started off with me having very little faith in me, because that's their job; it's similar to how a police officer must work. Sometimes, in life, there's much more risk in believing in a person than in questioning what you are seeing and hearing. It is their duty to protect myself from myself and others (if necessary).

Unfortunately, I have had to try to convince them otherwise, i.e. to convince them to have faith in me that i do not need to be held as an involuntary patient in this hosspital, faith that i am healthy enough to come and go as i please, if necessary--just by being myself, of course. I have had to help them understand who i am and to believe in me. It's not the other way around: They don't start off with 100% belief in me and 100% faith in who i am and then, as i stay within the clinic, gradually I may/may not convince them otherwise to a small or great degree--it doesn't work that way. My eventual discharge will be the result of me convincing them to have faith in me: that i am no risk to myself, nor to others, nor could i ever be...

I don't think i was sick when i was brought into Emergency of the Halifax Infirmary on June 1, 2012. I think--due to a combination of severe lack of sleep and the degree in which i relied almost solely on intuitive thoughts--i was simultaneously in a highly advanced state of mind and borderline insane; no doubt whatsoever. My diagnosis is the most accurate of all.
~Mark

Additional -optional- reading of excerpts from past Journal entries:  ;)

October 22, 2009
Dear Flower,
I have to tell u, Flower, that the kind of things that have been happening to me over the last few weeks have been so extreme it's hard to believe. and i've been hoping to talk to u more over the next few months, 'cause i know things will be kinda difficult and i need someone to sort of talk to about this.
~ Mark