#16 - What My REAL Problems Are -

July 16, 2012
Dear Flower,
There's one thing that's very important when it comes to meditation, and let’s say you're not taking this thing seriously, well, you have no one to blame but yourself, and this thing is the punctuality and regularity aspect of your early morning meditation. That isn't rocket science. In the spiritual life you should always think of yourself as a beginner. If you're counting something and you start to lose count, what do you do? You go back to the beginning, it's no big deal; if you don't go back to the beginning you're just not going to be doing it right. Anyway, you may not fully understand what i'm talking about. But, one thing is for surely NOT important when it comes to your spiritual life and that is getting angry with your Spiritual Master. And when you get angry with your Spiritual Master, and you have a very solid inner communication with Him.... it might appear, or it WILL appear as though you have schizophrenia.

And, if you have an anxiety problem, don't turn to street drugs to help you overcome your anxiety so that you can talk to others more and be more successful socially. Instead, go see your family doctor for medication. And take your life seriously: regular exercise, proper sleep, daily morning meditation, daily healthy social experiences, and so forth... Only good things can happen from here on.
~Mark

Additional -optional- reading of excerpts from past Journal entries: ;)
November 13, 2010
Dear Flower,
I'm really backed up with work that i have to get done for my boss. Oh man! He just sent me an email today, wondering if he can get my latest work--well, yesterday. I just remembered. I'll respond to it after i finish this email message.

When things pile up for me and seem like they're way too much for to do, but i know i have to do them anyway, i sometimes have trouble doing anything. I'll keep trying though.

I can't believe i have to go around teaching people that they're being disrespectful and that Brooklyn's behavior is part of the problem as a result of the disrespect. I'll talk to you more about that later.

I've also wanted to talk to you about ~Sir~ more too. It's hard, not just because i'm so busy with stuff i have to do, but because it's just not easy for stuff like that to flow off my tongue.

If someone were to ask me questions about ~Sir~ in the same way they might ask me questions about Brooklyn, as if it's perfectly normal, it'd be a lot easier. But it's never been like that before. And ~Sir's~ been here for a long time. He's like my best friend, but nobody knows about our relationship.

It's hard to convey little details such as something He said to me or did to me if there's never been any back and forth discussion about Him. And sometimes i think there isn't any way to really TALK about ~Sir~ in a way that could truly help someone understand what it's like to experience His kindness.
~Mark  @markenglish13