July 28, 2012
Dear Flower,
~Sir~ has been doing an amazing, inspiring, job of helping me feel that He's not only still -here-, but very closely -here-, and looking after me with tremendous love and concern.
~Sir~ does a very fine job of helping me to feel loved and looked after. I feel very grateful to him. I owe him my life; everything that i am is because of him. He has helped me make tremendous spiritual progress.
I get the sense from him that he's looking after me. But i also get the sense that He's got the future planned (for me) as well, and it’s in His Hands. For instance, my financial situation is extremely tight, but i get the sense from Him that He's taking care of that.
People seem to be looking after me, such as Steve and John. And i just can't help but think that it is because of ~Sir's~ Blessings that these good things are happening to me.
I have to focus on preparing for the court hearing coming up in the near future over custody of my 8 year old daughter, Brooklyn. At the very least, i want my regular access re-entitled back to me. There's no excuse or justification for me to have no access whatsoever, which is what has been set up by the mother whilst i was stuck in the hospital. I have to find a legal aid as soon as possible. And get some legal advice. I don't have the least bit of concern that, at the very least, i will get my regular access back.
The impression i get from ~Sir~ seems to be in that regard as well. But, regardless, i am doing what i feel is best for my child and always will, regardless of ANYthing, while, at the same time, i have the attitude of "Let God's Will be done". I am letting God's Will be done, but at the same time trying everything i can to do what is right, what's best. Whatever it is that is going on is in God's Hands and i just try my best.
~Mark
Additional -optional- reading of excerpts from past Journal entries: ;)
December 15, 2010
Dear Flower,
I just want to focus on meditation, with zero distractions, and let that improve my life. And i want to spend my free time improving other areas of my life. For the last year or so,--probably since i broke up with my last girlfriend--i've been thinking i need to quickly find myself a wife because i felt like i was getting too old to find anyone i would like.... But i don't really care as much about that anymore because of the sundar and meditation...
Meditation certainly gives me a lot more confidence. Also, when i feel like i can get just about any girl i want, because of the sundar, i feel more secure.
~Mark @markenglish13
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