August 7, 2012
Dear Flower,
For this blog posting, i'm going to talk to you about the implicit communication i felt i had with the police officer that first approached me at around 4am on June 1, 2012.
First of all, i am still not convinced that they were police officers. If they were, then they may have been secret or "undercover" in some way even though they were in police uniforms. I don't recall even seeing the second police officer; he only approached me to help the first police officer put me in hand cuffs behind my back. And he was mostly behind my back, so i never really got a good look at him.
But i want to talk to you about the communication that i had with particularly the first police officer that approached me. I was walking in the parking lot of a condo building in Bedford, NS, doing nothing wrong, and i notice a police vehicle slowly, gradually, creep up towards me. The police officers didn't put the police car lights on or anything like that. One police officer got out of the car and approached me wearing gloves. All i really remember him saying is things like, "I want to talk to you about something." I don't remember much more than that in terms of what he actually explicitly communicated.
I want to talk to you about the implicit communication that i remember. What i felt he was implying by the way that he was looking at me, the things he was saying, and the way that he was saying them. Now, i want to remind you, that i could be wrong on a lot of things. I was very low on sleep; although i did sleep the previous evening for about 7 hours, i did go without about 5 or 6 days of no sleep prior to that. And i do recall now thinking a number of different things that i know now are not true. However, i still do feel that what i felt was being implicitly communicated that morning was actually correct, or, at least, very close to it. I still feel that way.
First of all, the police officer seemed very strange to me. He didn't behave like a normal police officer, and the gloves that he was wearing looked very incongruent, i.e. they really didn't look like they belonged at all. I will try to tell you as much as i can remember. It seemed to me the gloves were there for a suspicious purpose. Now, you may be reading this and thinking, "Mark, you were not well then, you were thinking crazy ridiculous thoughts, this is nonsense." By all means, think that. But, just remember, i still feel, strongly, that what i'm about to tell you is recollection of something which is very true.
Now, i said i don't remember many things that were explicitly communicated. But i do remember a number of things that were implicitly communicated. And i'm gonna start from the beginning, from the beginning of what i remember.
First of all, the police officer didn't seem too sure about himself. He didn't seem like he was very interested in talking with me. He seemed almost passive, or perhaps even slightly nervous. He didn't seem very strong or assertive in his approach. He tried to approach me saying something like, "I just want to talk to you about something", and i backed away. Then i walked towards the entrance of the condo building. And i tried to open the door to the foyer, but it was locked, which is very strange because in order for visitors to get into the building they need to be able to go into the foyer so that they can press the buttons to the various units.
When i was standing at the front door, which had a glass entrance, there began some implicit communication between me and this particular "police officer". I don't remember the exact words that were said, but here is the implicit communication of which i strongly recall:
First of all, the police officer looked like he had tears in his eyes. I saw in his eyes that he had to kill me, and he was very disturbed about this; he had to follow orders to kill me and he really didn't want to because he thought it was wrong; i was an innocent person; he not only liked me, he loved me, because he already knew who i was; he didn't want to kill me so bad that it showed deeply in his eyes and it appeared as though there were tears beginning to weld up in his eyes.
Then he said a few things, of which the words i do not recall, but, once again, i remember what was communicated implicitly. He told me that he had to kill me and he wanted some kind of reassurance from me that this would not happen. And so, i reassured him that no, i would not be killed. (Because i knew that ~Sir~ would protect me and He would not allow that to happen.) Then he had a different thing to say. HE was going to get killed if HE didn't kill ME. So, he looked for reassurance from me again on whether HE would get killed. And so i reassured him again, that no, he also would not get killed. I knew, that if i said that, i was confident enough that ~Dear Sir~ would back up my promise.
Prior to this short conversation, i asked him if he would like to join the FBI with me (explicitly). And he said yes (implicitly). I, for some reason, felt that the FBI were in that condo building. It was very strange that the front door to that building was locked. And there were some boxes on the floor within the foyer. When i glanced at the boxes and tried to figure out what they were or why they were there, the "police officer" looked very uncomfortable with the fact that i was doing that and tried to distract my attention away from them.
By the way, i went there the other day, to this condo building, just to check it out. I believe it is 277 Rutledge St., in Bedford, at the corner of Rutledge and Basinview. And i checked the front door to the foyer, and it opens; obviously (i.e. it's not a locked door). How else could people, visitors, get into the foyer to press the buzzers to the various units. And there were no boxes sitting on the floor of the foyer.
Anyway, shortly after our implicit communication, the second "police officer" approached me and began to assist the first police officer with putting me in handcuffs behind my back. Virtually nothing was said about the reason why i was being put into handcuffs or what was going on. However, the first police officer did say, "I think there's going to be a fight," before i even made any slightest effort to fight against them (and, according to me, i never gave him any reason to believe that i would put up a fight prior to that; i didn't even know he intended to put me in handcuffs). To me, he just implicitly communicated to me that i need to fight this to help me win it (i.e. to survive). So, after he said that, I started to fight with all my might.
They eventually got me into handcuffs, behind my back, with me lying face down on the pavement, and proceeded to simply sit on me for one or two hours so that i could not move away. I yelled and screamed for somebody to help me the entire time. At one point, the first police officer said, "He's pretty strong." And i could tell by the tone of his voice that he was happy, he was nervous, but feel good that they were failing at killing me. In other words, despite cutting off my circulation for so long, i was still not losing conciousness. Yes, it *is* possible to kill a human being by cutting off their circulation; it has to be done over an extended period of time and must continue after they lose conciousness.
And, as i'm sure you can tell by this blog post, i did actually live.
Oh yeah, there was one other thing: during the initial struggle i almost took off one of the first "police officer's" leather gloves (the second one wasn't wearing gloves), and he became very nervous about that as i was about to do it and momentarily ceased from struggling to get my wrists into the handcuffs to put his glove back on properly. That was kinda odd.
'Til next time: Take care, and God Bless.
~Mark @markenglish13
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